My post today isn’t about food.
It’s also not about fitness.
It’s about living.
To keep you all interested though I will sprinkle some food photos between
I’ve been reading (slowly) a book by Beth Moore (she blogs too!) called: So Long Insecurites You’ve been a Bad Friend to Me. Please don’t laugh, I know the title is quite…embarrassing. I find it hilariously ironic that most would be too insecure to pull out this book at a work lunch break. When I initially started reading I considered my self to be secure. For the most part I have a perception that no one notices me.
Blended silken tofu with yogurt and cocoa powder. This has been incorporated into many night time snacks this past week
I believe I can walk through a crowded street naked and no one would turn and stare. I would never actually do that, so perhaps that is a bit of an extreme example. Here is a real example (please don’t think me a lesser person):
The Subway Stealer Story: I’ve always been told I look younger then I am. So when I started going to university I still paid student fare, even though technically I was supposed to pay adult. I knew other people doing this so it was no big deal, other then the poor integrity on my part. One day I was running short on change, so I put in 50 cents less then the student fare. The teller didn’t notice. So I did it again, and again, and again. And I paid less, and less, and less. I used the subway to and from school everyday, so this was happening daily. I felt really bad, but I was almost angry at the fact that no teller noticed me. Until one day he did. According to him he had been noticing me for weeks and was VERY angry, he said he should fine me. Thank goodness this man had a heart, because I really didn’t deserve to be let of the hook, but he let me go. After I got over the shock of the teller’s yelling words I realized I was comforted by the fact that he had been “watching me for weeks“. What? I’m not invisible to the world? I’m a real person? This was welcomed news to me.
Speaking of Books: I'm also reading a book from one of my favorite fiction series...The Outlander series
Thanks to Beth Moore’s book I have been able to recognize that feeling invisible is still insecurity. Sure it’s not the conventional insecurity in which you see girls who won’t leave their house without makeup, but it’s still insecurity and insecurity is toxic. I haven’t finished the book yet, but still I would recommend it to anyone who is dealing with insecurities. Even those who aren’t dealing with insecurities anymore could benefit from this book.
Sweet&Savory: garlic cracker bread, lemon source yogurt thinly spread, eggwhite cooked with chili powder, strawberry slice. The Verdict: YUM! Almost beats the PB and pizza!
I should warn you that Beth Moore is a Christian writer and the book clearly shows her faith and devotion. Being a Christian I find my security in God, but I understand there are many other places that others find security. So I’m curious…
Where do you find your security? Have you ever felt so insecure that you have done something really stupid (like my subway story)?
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Hrm. I’m not sure my insecurities have ever expressed themselves in feelings of going unnoticed…. mine usually go the opposite way – I always feel like people are watching me. But I’ve definitely done my fair share of stupid things… I used to feel really insecure when I was younger, so I did a lot of things that were basically the opposite of who I am just to feel like I fit in. These days I’m not sure where my security comes from, really… I’m just finally accepting and proud of who I am.
Umm, first off, can I have like 20 bajillion pounds of that blended silken tofu concoction?!?! It looks like heaven!!
That book sounds really good, I’m really intrigued to check it out!
I think I find most of my security in God as well, I just feel so safe/protected by Him and I know He’s there whenever I need Him. My faith has saved me on so many occasions and I just feel at home when I’m with God.
I love the outlander series so far! I am on the first book right NOW! don’t ruin it
hee hee. And I know I quote the psalms a lot, but I have read almost every one, and this verse is great for reminding us where we can find our strengh. In God
Psalm 18:2
The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
I’ll be thinking/praying for ya gurly.
I love life posts more than I love fitness or food posts
That’s so interesting that that is how you reflect your insecurities. Me, on the other hand, I’m always (subconsciously) trying to be invisible because somewhere deep down I feel like I don’t deserve to be noticed or that it’s shameful if I am.
I’m not a Christian, but I absolutely agree in finding security in God
I feel both ways. My insecutiry manifests itself in wishing/hoping/feeling that people just don’t notice me (ie: who would want to anyways) or what everyone is noticing me (mom, why the heck is everyone staring at me??) Many of my insecurities come from my honesty and “realness” as a person. My mom says I have a baloney meter that can tell when people aren’t being sincere which can be great but also leads to my getting/feeling hurt sometimes. As I grow in myself, I’m learning how to be comfortable with me and let people come to me naturally without feeling like i have to attract or repel them. If they hurt me, I can step away but I’ll never know unless I let them in.
On the book note- I’ve been really wanting to read the Outlander series. My mom has read them and loves them and I have a couple of them in my (way too alphabetized) bookcases upstairs. We were just looking at them today- I’ll definitely need to get a move on.
I love that your mom calls it a Balony meter. I’m also super sensitive and can really tell how someone feels. It’s actually something new I’ve discovered about myself. Previously I never understood why my feelings were always hurt. That’s so true what you said “I can step away but I’ll never know unless I let them in”! Thanks so much for sharing
When I feel insecure I just hang out with my kindergardener sister!!! So matter what she always talks to me and begs to play with me and doesn’t give a care if i look good or totally crappy. Little kids are the best!!
That’s so sweet! Little kids can always be a mood lifter
yes yes yes! I find my security in God, i really believe thats the only fulfilling/lasting/strong security, especially with eating disorders. we HAVE to keep our minds focused on things ABOVE bc this world and things of it will throw us down so fast!
Hello- thanks for stopping by my blog
The yoga is from here:
http://www.yogadownload.com/
You can print off the pose guides that go with each class, and then download the audio files (I think some are video but I have audio ones)- they 20 min classes are free but you can get longer ones which you pay for.
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